Coming back from camp is always a very difficult thing to do. Although I do feel very fulfilled and clarified, it is hard to come from a place that you are undeniable needed in the most apparent ways to a place that that need for you isn't so obvious.
Recently, I can't help but shake the feeling of loneliness. I've felt physically distant from my camp family, emotionally distant from my friends here in Lexington, and overall distant from my parents and family. Feeling this way is never fun. Here, it is very difficult to shake the feeling of being second. Juggling this empty feeling of loneliness is hard in an end-of-the-year stress period.
Yet, as hard as this is to come to terms with, sometimes we are faced with this feeling of loneliness to realize we are NOT alone. I think God allows this distance to occur for a variety of reasons. He does so to let us fix our thoughts and prioritize the important aspects in our life. He does so to allow us to rest, the constant upkeep of relationships can be exhausting at times. He does so to make us relatable, so when our peers have this feeling in the future, we can empathize and send them on the right path. Finally, He does so for reflection. Spending time away from the chaos of the world allows you to just be. Reflection and review of your decisions and events is vital to your future.
So, this feeling will pass. But for now, it is okay. Being lonely doesn't mean you're alone, you are never alone with God. Yet, being lonely can create such positive evaluations of the life you are living, and that is necessary from time to time. Being lonely is being okay.
“Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses.”
-Psalm 25:16-17
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